In a large majority of cases, couples opt to do an uncontested divorce.

Most people who are about to get divorced realize-once they’ve done some research-and provided they are willing to agree on how to divide their property and debts, and deal with issues related to their children, if any, realize they are better off with a Las Vegas divorce lawyer who won’t lead them right into a divorce trial at great expense.

What Type of Uncontested Divorce Lawyer Do You Need?

Many Las Vegas lawyers will not even consider taking on an uncontested divorce because of the amount of time involved – up to 20 hours, especially if divorce mediation is involved. Your choices will be limited.

1. There is the type of uncontested divorce lawyer who simply types up the paperwork however you tell them to do so and files them at court, which might not always be to your benefit.
2. Then, there is the type of uncontested divorce lawyer who will encourage you to go through divorce mediation if he or she detects uncertainty or unfairness in your wishes, especially after a long-term marriage with assets, substantial or not. And also if you are unsure how to manage child physical custody.

This is the best type of uncontested divorce lawyer to retain.

This second type of divorce lawyer most likely has many years of experience and expertise in the field of family law, and is well respected by his peers.

Look for someone with a good public reputation with no complaints against him or her with the Nevada State Bar. If Las Vegas lawyer has been practicing here for many years and has no complaints filed against him or her, it’s a good sign that they run their legal practice ethically.

This type of divorce lawyer will treat your case as unique no matter how simple it might to you, because, despite similarities, every divorce is different. This type of uncontested divorce lawyer can also tell you if hiring them would be financially beneficial to you or not after they’ve reviewed all the facts surrounding your case.

How Will an Experienced Lawyer File your Uncontested Divorce?

1. A joint petition divorce might be filed if both parties are willing to sign the divorce paperwork. This is the fastest, simplest way to file. If you opt to undergo divorce mediation first, it will take a little longer, but usually not that much longer; the extra week or so is well worth it so you can feel at peace about how the division of assets was decided.
2. A Complaint for Divorce might be filed if one party cannot participate in so far as signing the paperwork before filing, or cannot sign at all. For instance, a deeply religious person whose religion doesn’t approve of divorce might not contest the divorce, but might also not want to sign divorce paperwork.

In the end, both ways of filing get the same result: a final decree of divorce.

How Long Will it Take to get my Uncontested Divorce in Las Vegas?

A joint petition is much faster, essentially because both parties have signed the paperwork along with the attorney. This signals to the judge that they agree on property and debt division, and on any issues related to the children.

If a complaint for divorce is filed instead, it will take longer because only the plaintiff and the divorce lawyer sign the paperwork before it is filed. Filing this way requires that the Defendant (the spouse who did not sign the paperwork) be found and served with the complaint and the summons by a process server. Once they’ve been served, they have 21 days to respond by filing a answer and counterclaim. If they do not, the divorce proceeds by a process of default. This essentially means the defendant does not object to the divorce because they did not file a response. It is rare for mediation to take place before a complaint for divorce is filed.

If the Defendant files an answer and counterclaim, the divorce is now considered to be contested. There will now likely be additional attorney fees as there will be a lot more work involved for your divorce lawyer. He or she now takes off the hat of an uncontested divorce lawyer and acts as a litigator of the divorce.

It may well turn out to be costly both financially and emotionally. Interestingly, the first thing Family Court in Las Vegas will do (and anywhere else in Nevada) is set a case management conference. This is essentially a mandatory divorce mediation before any divorce trial date can be set.

If you retained an experienced uncontested divorce lawyer, he or she will be well-versed in mediation, and some are even court arbitrators. This type of lawyer will always do his or her best to mediate the points on which the parties don’t agree so a divorce trial can be avoided.

How Do I Choose the Best Divorce Lawyer for my Uncontested Divorce in Las Vegas?

Find a lawyer who advertises as one who handles uncontested divorces. This means he or she has represented many parties in their uncontested divorces, and will know all the best ways to go about it.

Also, that lawyer is likely to have a good amount of experience with divorce mediation (in the event it’s needed in your case), and some will even be court arbitrators so they are well-versed in leading both parties toward resolution rather than right into divorce court.

If you are looking for information on an uncontested divorce in Las Vegas, please visit our web site, https://NevadaDivorce.org, or call us at 702-680-1780 for a free consultation on whether an uncontested divorce is the best solution for you.

What influences how long it takes to get a divorce in Nevada the most is whether both parties sign the divorce papers.

If both parties sign the documents, it takes less time than if only one party signs them. See below for details on both ways of filing a divorce in Nevada and how long each takes to finalize.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DIVORCE IN NEVADA WHEN BOTH PARTIES AGREE?

When both parties agree on all issues, the divorce is usually filed in the form of a joint petition for divorce. Below are the items on which the parties need to agree to proceed with a joint petition:

• child physical custody
• child visitation
• alimony, if any
• property and debts

In  a joint petition divorce, the attorney represents both parties in a joint capacity, though the parties can each bring their own attorney to the table and still file a joint petition divorce once all the issues have been decided and agreed upon. 

Both parties must sign the joint petition for divorce and the decree of divorce for this type of divorce. It cannot be filed with only the signature of one party to the divorce.

Generally, it takes one to four weeks for a joint petition divorce to be granted in Clark County, Nevada when both parties sign the papers.

How busy the court happens to be when your case is filed affects this timeline, as well as how busy your judge is at the time they are assigned the case.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DIVORCE IN NEVADA WHEN ONLY ONE PARTY SIGNS?

When only one party signs the divorce papers, he or she becomes the Plaintiff.  In this case, an attorney represents the Plaintiff  and files a complaint for divorce.  The attorney also signs the divorce papers, files the case on behalf of the Plaintiff, and handles all aspects of the case.  Usually, a different attorney will represent the Defendant and file an answer and couterclaim on behalf of the Defendant. 

How long it takes to get a divorce in Nevada when a complaint is file depends on how easy or complicated it is to find and serve the Defendant.

Filing a complaint for divorce entails the following three steps:

• Filing the complaint for divorce
• Having a summons issued
• Serving the complaint and summons upon the Defendant through a process server

How process service is conducted affects the length of time it takes to get the divorce.

PERSONAL SERVICE:

If you know where the Defendant lives and or works, and if they can be served personally (or any other person over the age of 14 at that same address is available to be served instead), it will expedite the process.

What eats up time is the fact that after Defendant is served, there is a 21-calendar-days waiting period before the divorce can move forward. This is to give an opportunity to the Defendant to file an answer.

If the Defendant does not file an answer and counterclaim, it takes approximately eight to twelve weeks to finalize the divorce when the Defendant is served personally.

SERVICE BY PUBLICATION OR ALTERNATIVE MEANS

If Defendant is not available for personal service—you don’t know where they live, and they can’t be found by a process server or investigator—the length of time to get a divorce depends on what the process server finds when they start looking for the Defendant.

If no address is found for the Defendant, the process server provides the attorney with an affidavit of due diligence, which states everything the process server has done to find the Defendant.

This affidavit is filed and presented to the judge, essentially asking permission to publish the summons. If granted, the summons is published once a week for five weeks. And nothing happens for at least 21 days after the last date of publication to give Defendant an opportunity to file an answer should they see the published summons.

If Defendant is served by publication, it takes 16-18 weeks to get to the point where judge makes a decision on the divorce,  provided Defendant does not file an answer.  What can hold this up longer is if the process server finds several addresses for the Defendant. By law, an attempt has to be made to serve the Defendant at those addresses before publication can take place.

Sometimes, at this stage, instead of publication, the judge will ask that Defendant be served by alternative means, meaning by social media if they have an active social media presence, or by email.

If service occurs through alternative means, it takes about the same amount of time to obtain a divorce as when the Defendant is served in person. After alternative service, there is also a 21-day waiting period after the date of service before the process can move forward. This is, of course, provided Defendant does not file an answer and counterclaim.

When a complaint for divorce is filed, and Defendant files an answer and counterclaim, how long it takes to get a divorce in Nevada is affected by whether the issues are resolved at the case management conference or whether they move on to trial. It can take many months and even more than a year if there are multiple court appearances.

Other things of importance before a divorce is filed in Nevada:

• At least one of the parties to the divorce must be a current Nevada resident

This means having lived in Nevada for six consecutive weeks before the filing of the divorce. The divorce papers also state that the resident filer has the intent to remain in Nevada after the divorce is filed and granted.

• If you have minor children, to address issues such as physical custody and visitation, the children must have lived in Nevada for a minimum of six months.

If you have questions about the process, please call our office at 702-680-1780. It’s a free consultation to find out everything that needs to be done to get your divorce granted.

1. My wife says she won’t’ give me a divorce. Do I have to stay married to her?

No, you do not. Despite the fact that this hasn’t been true for a number of years, especially in Nevada where no-fault divorce has existed for a number of years, we still hear the question often.  This misconception used to be true (hence, how it became one), back when a specific reason and strong proof had to be given to obtain a divorce in Nevada, but it’s no longer the case.

Your spouse can make getting a divorce more difficult, prolonging the process, in a number of ways (avoiding service, sending you on wild goose chases for documents and old bank account statements, etc. filing motions that are essentially harassment, etc.), but no Nevada judge is going to force you to stay married to him or her.

2. I get to keep my house because I bought it before my marriage. Correct?

Maybe. Maybe not. Nevada is a community property state, which means that anything owned in either spouse’s name alone still belongs with the community property assets, with some exceptions.

For instance, if you owned the house before the marriage and used only your separate funds, earned before the marriage, to make mortgage payments and to handle the upkeep on the property and to make improvements, then yes, the house will go to you in a divorce.

If any community funds were used to cover upkeep or to make improvements, the house moves into the realm of community property. It makes no difference if the mortgage or deed is held in the name of one spouse only.

If you did use community funds for the aforementioned house expenses, your spouse would be entitled to half of the increase in value of the property since the time of your marriage. You would retain whatever down payment you made on the house before the equity is split.

Community funds in the context of this answer are funds from a joint bank account, and any funds earned during the marriage by either you or your spouse even if they are in an account you do not share with your spouse.

3. My spouse cheated on me. I’m going to get all of our property, correct? 

Not correct.  Because Nevada is a no-fault state on divorce, it doesn’t matter at all who cheated and who didn’t; it’s not even looked at by the court when it comes time to divide marital assets.

Yes, we understand you feel it’s unfair. We feel for you. Nevertheless, it’s still a fact around which there is no getting around. Even if your spouse cheated, he or she will receive his or her equitable share of the marital assets.

You can always try to mediate this if you feel very strongly that you should get more of the assets than your spouse (mediation is a far superior way to handle property division in a divorce, whether or not cheating or any other wrong-doing took place), but if a Nevada judge gets to make the decision, the assets will be divided fairly between the two of you.

4. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom throughout the marriage so I will get full physical custody of our children. 

This is a very common misconception. Again, because it used to be true.

You could possibly get full custody of your children; however, Nevada family courts favor shared physical custody and are likely to grant each parent equal time with the children, unless the children are at risk of coming to harm in the presence of their other parent.

Of course, if your spouse agrees that the children should live with you full-time, and will visit with him or her on weekends, the court will not object. But, the court is not likely to grant you full physical custody of your children if you ask for it and your spouse is not willing to give it voluntarily. Unless, again, there is a good reason as to why the children aren’t safe with their other parent (drugs, alcohol, mental illness, abuse of any kind, etc.)

Legal and Physical Custody of the minor children: some people confuse physical and legal custody when they divorce in Nevada.

• Legal custody is the right of a parent to see a child’s medical and school records and to have a say about the child’s education and religious upbringing. No more, no less. A parent can have legal custody without having any physical custody at all.
• Physical custody determines which parent the child lives with, or states that a child lives with both parents, sharing about equal time between them. Typically, a parent who has either full or shared custody also has legal custody.
• There is also Sole custody, meaning that a parent has both legal and full physical custody, with the other parent having essentially no say in a child’s upbringing. Sole custody is not easily granted by the court. When one parent gives up (or forced to give up) legal custody, the court likes to see a replacement guardian put in place to share legal custody with the sole custody parent. This is an effort on the court’s part to avoid the child becoming a ward of the state should anything happen to the parent with sole custody.

In all of the above scenarios, visitation can still take place. In other words, a parent with no legal or physical custody rights could still be granted visitation.

Finally, be careful before you ask for full physical custody unless you have a strong provable reason that your child would be endangered by their other parent. Family court in Nevada highly favors shared physical custody and is likely to see you as a trouble maker if you push for full physical custody without a really good reason.

5. If we have shared custody, neither of us pays child support, correct?

This is also a very common misconception. One party will typically still pay some child support to the other party even with shared custody. The court follows the formula below – you can read about this in more detail on our divorce with children page.

Easy formula to figure out your child support obligation:

1. Take the percentage of each party’s gross salary according to the number of children:

For one child, the sum of:

1. For the first $6,000 of an obligor’s monthly gross income, 16 Percent of such gross income;
2. For any portion of an obligor’s monthly gross income that is greater than $6000 and equal to or less than $10,000, 8 percent of such a portion: and
3. For any portion of an obligor’s monthly gross income that is greater than $10,000, 4 percent of such a portion.

Subtract the smaller amount from the larger amount The party with the higher income pays the difference to the other party.

Example:

• John and Jane have one child and no reason to deviate from the Nevada statutory guidelines on child support.
• John’s gross monthly salary is $1000 per month, so his obligation to Jane for child support is $160 per month.
• Jane’s gross monthly salary is 800 per month, so she is obligated to John for $144 monthly for child support.
• Difference between $160 and $144 is $16, so John pays Jane $16 per month.

6. I didn’t work during our marriage. I will get alimony for the rest of my life if I divorce in Nevada. Correct?

This used to be true, especially for long-term marriages where the wife stayed at home raising the children and had not worked at all during the marriage.

It’s no longer the case.

Courts are a lot less likely to grant life-long alimony to a spouse, unless it was a very long marriage, the other spouse never worked and is incapable of earning due to physical or mental disability.

Otherwise, a judge might grant temporary alimony while the spouse that stayed at home retrains in a new career, or revives an old career.

Nevada law on alimony (NRS 125.150 states the following regarding the circumstances under which a judge might grant alimony in a divorce:

• • the standard of living to which the couple was accustomed
  • the career of both spouses before the marriage
  • whether one spouse has advanced the other spouse’s career
  • age and education of the parties
  • the ability to pay of the spouse who will be paying alimony

7.  My friend told me I can get a divorce in Nevada in just one day. Is that true?

Not anymore. We do wish this misconception about getting a divorce in Nevada would go away. We still get the question nearly every day despite the fact that this hasn’t been true for at least 10 years!

Back in the 50’s when it was popular to get a divorce in Nevada because of the short residency requirement, yes, you could often get a divorce in Nevada in a day (after establishing residency). And even just 15 years ago, you could get it done in just a few days. What happened is that between budget cuts, the now much larger population of Nevada, and the many people who establish residency to get a divorce, family courts in Nevada have become overwhelmed.

How long a divorce in Nevada takes depends in large part on how busy the court is at the time your divorce is filed. It also depends on how busy your divorce judge happens to be at the time he or she is assigned your case.

Our office does get final decrees back from the court in just two or three days occasionally, but the norm is more like 7 to 10 days and even up to three weeks sometimes.

All of the above timeline is based on a joint petition divorce (you both signed the divorce documents before filing the case). If you file a complaint for divorce, it will take 12-16 weeks or so if your spouse can be personally served and up to 26 weeks if publication has to take place.

The best thing to do to dispel misconceptions about divorce in Nevada is to talk to your attorney about any concerns you have regarding any aspect of your divorce. Don’t assume and don’t just accept for granted what your friend who went through a divorce three years ago tells you. That person is not in the trenches every day dealing with divorce court and they don’t know the law like your lawyer knows it.

5 TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE THE HOLIDAYS DURING A DIVORCE 

Is this your first holiday after separation? Christmas and divorce just don’t seem to go together, do they?

In our busy law office, divorce clients who come to us during the holidays always seem more distressed or upset than at other times of the year. We understand.

These divorce and annulment clients are going through a difficult and stressful period of their lives. And they’re doing so at a time of year when the world expects us all to give more, love more, and forgive more. They get confused and wonder how to find it within themselves to do all of that while going through a divorce.

If children are involved, getting a divorce at this time of the year can become even more difficult, and emotional, to navigate.

No doubt you need a plan.

One thing to remember is that oftentimes, our emotional state is anchored to familiar actions and surroundings. This can be good since it shows stability during a time of chaos. But, doing only those same things you’ve always done isn’t going to take you to that place where you’ve created your own new holiday traditions by mixing the old with the new.

So, the very first thing to do is to change that. You might not want to do things differently, but if you’ll just push yourself a little, you’ll be glad you made the effort. To stay stuck in your “same old” isn’t the solution to lifting your spirits.

If you have children, it’s even more important to put on a good face. They need to know that mommy and daddy still love them and care enough to make the holiday as normal and happy as can be, despite the circumstances.

5 TIPS—SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS DURING DIVORCE

      1. If possible, venture out of your usual holiday surroundings. Visit out-of-state family, for instance. If this is not possible, see below.

      2. Start a new tradition, on your own or with your children if you have them. DO keep some things the same; stability and knowing that not everything in their lives will change is important to children. That said, find one new thing you could add to what you’ve always done. This will keep you focused on the positive and new rather than distressing over what’s been lost.

For the kids, it could be fun and take their minds off what’s now different, namely, that for the first time in their lives, they are with only one parent at a time for this year’s holiday.

For instance, Tom had always wanted to take the kids ice-skating around the holidays, but his soon-to-be ex-wife didn’t like it at all, so they never went. During his first holiday season without his ex, he added this event to what had been their holiday traditions while he was married. He took his children to an ice-skating rink, followed by hot chocolate at their favorite coffee shop. It turned out to be a hit with them and gave everyone hope that the holidays could still be a happy time for them despite the divorce.

      3. If your children will be with your ex on the holiday itself, plan to do something to help others. It’s a well-known fact that helping others lifts our spirits. Consider volunteering your time to a shelter on that day, for instance, would take your mind off your own suffering and warm your heart as you help others even less fortunate than you. Or find other single parents whose children will be with their other parent that day and celebrate together, doing something none of you usually does on that day.

Karen reached out to two other friends whose children would be with their other parent for the last day of Hanukkah. She arranged ahead of time for them to visit residents of a nursing home who didn’t get visitors or whose families lived out-of-state. They bought several low-cost gifts and wrapped them in bright paper and delivered them to these residents with good wishes, bringing tears of joy to the eyes of many of them. By the end of the visit, the women were thankful for the blessings they still had in their own lives. They followed this up with a special dinner at a restaurant none of them had ever visited. They vowed to do it again the next time their children were with their other parent for a holiday.

     4. Your children need love from both parents during this time. The goal is to keep them from thinking they’re being pulled between their parents and made to feel guilty for being with one or the other parent on any given day. If you’re still working out the holiday visitation schedule, be sure that the children have ample time with each parent and vary it up, from year to year if the children have to travel some distance between you and your ex-spouse.

Is a certain holiday very important to both you and your spouse? Try to make it so you both get the children for a portion of it, but be sure and do it in a way that is enjoyable to the children too. But, if you live far apart, it would most likely be best to agree to an alternate-year holiday visitation schedule.

Robert and Diane, who live 500 miles apart, agreed that their two children should spend the whole winter school break together at least until their late teens, and arranged things so the children spent the December holidays with Diane during odd years and with Robert during even years.

Having to fly or take a bus to another state or country, or even city, to get from one parent to another on a holiday to meet a visitation schedule would probably make your child dread that holiday rather than look forward to it.

     5. Last, but most important, do NOT become a recluse. Even if you’d rather pull a double shift at work, or stick your hand in fire, force yourself to go out and mingle with good friends or family (stay away from those who constantly bring up negative things about your ex, or ask them to stop). Your spirits will lift from your new activities! We are social creatures and even when feeling low, we derive happiness and comfort from being around others.

If you want even more advice, or ideas, on going through a divorce during the holidays, you might find some here: https://www.divorcecare.org/holidays/helpcenter/helpingchildren 

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Do you wonder whether you’ll have to pay spousal support? Or whether your spouse will have to pay some to you?

You’ve been married for several years and your spouse earns somewhat less than you, or stayed at home to raise your children or because you didn’t need two incomes, or vice versa, you are the one to earn more and to have done so throughout the marriage.

Spousal support is paid before a divorce when you are legally separated.

Alimony is paid after a divorce has been granted.

Nevada statutes list items for a judge to take into consideration when deciding whether to grant alimony or spousal support. Nevada has no guidelines to follow for support and alimony, unlike the ones for child support.

Below is a partial list of items a judge must look at, as per NRS 125.150, Nevada Statutes on alimony and separate maintenance (spousal support) when deciding whether to grant support or alimony.

Every situation differs in some way so some of these may or may not apply, and other items in addition to, or instead of, these might apply:

• The financial condition of each spouse
• The nature and value of the respective property of each spouse
• The contribution of each spouse to any property held by the spouses pursuant to NRS 123.030
• The duration of the marriage
• The income, earning capacity, age and health of each spouse
• The standard of living during the marriage
• The career before the marriage of the spouse who would receive the alimony
• The existence of specialized education or training or the level of marketable skills attained by each spouse during the marriage
• The contribution of either spouse as homemaker
• The physical and mental condition of each party as it relates to the financial condition, health and ability to work of that spouse

In certain cases, instead of, or in addition to, the usual alimony or spousal support, the Nevada court might grant separate alimony to a spouse for the purpose of obtaining training or education to attain new employment, or better employment.

• Whether the spouse who would pay such alimony got greater job skills or education during the marriage
• Whether the spouse who would receive such alimony provided financial support while the other spouse obtained job skills or education

If alimony is granted for education or training, the judge will usually also order that the spouse getting the alimony start the training within a specified amount of time, and will often put a limit on the time given for the re-training, usually for the length of time of the specific program or degree the re-training spouse will be entering.

You can read the statutes here: https://discountlasvegaslawyer.com/nevada-divorce-attorney/las_vegas_divorce_statutes/

Or click here to read the Nevada Statutes on alimony in their entirety
http://www.leg.state.nv.us/NRS/NRS-125.html#NRS125Sec150

For most people, a divorce is a once in a lifetime experience.

Even if you’ve gone through a divorce a couple of times, you’re not likely to know a lot about the process since it’s not something you deal with every day.

You might be familiar with the process, but when it’s your own divorce, emotions are likely sky-high which affects your decision-making abilities.

So, even  when you retain an attorney, it’s good to have a Do/Don’t Do list on hand to be sure you cover all the important points.

THE 7 DO’s AND DON’T DO’s:

1.  If your spouse is cooperating, your best option is to pursue mediation. A divorce trial is likely to eat up a lot of the marital assets. If that happens, both you and your spouse lose.

If there are children involved, you want to preserve as much of the marital assets as possible even if it means giving your spouse some things you really wanted.

What’s more important? A few thousand dollars more in your pocket, or your children happy and well-adjusted despite the divorce?

2.  Even if you plan to a divorce mediation,  print out all financial statements from your shared financial accounts. In the event your spouse decides to try and lock you out of your accounts, it will save you a lot of time.

 Here is a list of the most common accounts. You might have others so make a list of all accounts your remember opening:

• • joint bank accounts
  • your spouse’s separate account statements if you have access
  • credit card bills
  • mortgage statements
  • retirement accounts statements (both yours and your spouse’s if you have access to it)
  • tax returns for the duration of the marriage
  • any other account of any sort.

Doing the above will protect you if your spouse changes the passwords to prevent you from accessing the accounts.

You’ll at least have a hard copy of your latest statements until your spouse’s lawyer can convince him or her to give you back access, or until the court orders your spouse to give you back access because that’s the law.

In Nevada, a community property state, most assets owned by either party fall into community property so, for instance, it doesn’t matter whose name a car, bank account, or deed to a house is in. Apart for some exceptions, all assets owned by either party belongs to both of them.

Best check with your lawyer to understand which ones are, and aren’t in your case, because this is a whole other subject.

3. Don’t do what you hope your spouse won’t do to you; try to manipulate your finances. It will for sure come back to bite you in the you-know-what and that won’t feel good, trust me. It’s rare for such shenanigans to escape the notice of the court. In other words, you’re likely to get caught and sanctioned by the court for playing games with the community property assets.

It will be difficult for your judge to trust you if proof is shown that you tried to manipulate the finances just before, or just after, filing a divorce.  Judges are human too, and maybe even without realizing it, the judge could end up being tougher on you for doing this.

4. If you have a lot of financial assets, and, or, more than one house, consider hiring a financial adviser to work with your divorce lawyer.

Though your divorce attorney will know about how finances must be divided during a divorce, he or she might not understand the best way to proceed to preserve most of the assets for you, your spouse, and for your children.  Try to remember that it will affect your children if your spouse falls into financial trouble.

If you have the marital home and a few thousand dollars in one or more accounts, you’re okay to just see the divorce attorney who will do your mediation (if mediation works for you).

5. Choose a divorce lawyer open to mediation. Ideally, you want mediation. This will save you a lot of money and time. If you choose an aggressive divorce attorney who has never steered clients toward mediation, but loves the court room, you’re not likely to change his or her mind for you.

Choose an attorney certified in mediation, arbitration, and alternative dispute resolution by their State Bar. Such an attorney tends to guide clients into mediation first and only goes to court if nothing can be reasonably resolved that way.

Mediation is your best option to preserve as much of your assets as possible. Remember that it’s not only your spouse who loses big if you go to court. You’ll be paying your own lawyer $300-$700 per hour if there’s a divorce trial.  An average divorce trial costs $15,000 for EACH party to the divorce. Yeah . . .

6. If you have minor children, DO NOT DISCUSS THE DIVORCE WITH THEM.

Sorry for shouting, but really. Leave them out of it. Tell them it’s going on, obviously, but they need not know that the two people they love most in the whole world now hate one another if that’s the case.

• • They don’t need to hear nasty fights over money, or over who gets what of the household goods.
  • The best you can do to help your children transition as smoothly as possible to the new situation is to:
  • Tell them you’re getting a divorce
  • make it clear that you both still love them, that this divorce has nothing at all to do with them, but is an issue between you and their other parent.
  • say you’re doing all you can to minimize the impact on them. And then do that.
  •  make sure they understand you are not abandoning them.
  • describe how their lifestyle will change. How they’ll now have two homes—if you opt for shared physical custody. Shared physical custody is preferable to Family Court in Nevada—unless there’s a strong reason to give physical custody to one parent and visitation only to the other.
  •  explain that they will still have access to you even when they’re at their other parent’s house.

Bottom line, do what you need to do so they still feel secure in their world.

Consider seeing a psychologist for a few family sessions (if your spouse is open to that—if not, go with your children anyway) to make the transition as smooth as possible for them.

7. Lessen your expenses. Most people just coming out of a divorce can’t afford the same lifestyle they had during the marriage. Go through your budget with a fine-tooth comb and slash, slash, slash, any discretionary items until you can figure out how to increase your income, if you wish to live your same pre-divorce lifestyle.

Several of our divorce clients end up reaching out a year or so after their divorce wishing to file bankruptcy.  To be sure this isn’t you, cut up most credit cards immediately, except one or two for emergencies.

Every divorce is different, but the above do’s and don’ts should serve you well. As always, I’m available if you need a divorce attorney certified in mediation, one accredited by the court as a court arbitrator.